Hey Doctor!
First Surgery
A new doctor after his first Surgery runs to the top of the building, on the roof, kneels down on the floor, closes his eyes with head towards the sky and says
"O almighty God! Please accept my first offering" ...
Bad news
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
by- http://www.doctorslounge.com
You are too ugly
The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick'The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?'
The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...' I use this joke for retelling in reported speech.
Submitted by: Adriana Luchett at http://iteslj.org
It hurts
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"
Submitted by Sean McLoughlin at http://iteslj.org
That's really very funny
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination."I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says.
"Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.
"10..." says the doctor.
"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.
"10...9...8...7..." .....RIP
by- http://www.doctorslounge.com
Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:
Oops!Has anyone seen my watch?
Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingy
What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!
Damn, there go the lights again...
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
What do you mean, he's not insured?
Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"
What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
by- http://www.doctorslounge.com
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