O Teri Ki !: lol

A Mature Lady Gets Pulled Over For Speeding

Lady: “Is There A Problem, Officer?”

Traffic Cop: “Yes Mam, I’m Afraid You Were Speeding.”

Lady: “Oh, I See.”

Cop: “Can I See Your License Please?”

Lady: “Well, I Would Give It To You But I Don’t Have One.”

Cop: “Don’t Have One?”

Lady: “No. I Lost It 4 Years Ago For Drunk Driving.”

Cop: “I See, Can I See Your Vehicle Registration Papers Please.”

Lady: “I Can’t Do That.”

Cop: “Why Not?”

Lady: “I Stole This Car.”

Cop: “Stole It ?”

Lady: “Yes, And I Killed And Hacked Up The Owner.”

Cop: “You What! ?”

Lady: “His Body Parts Are In Plastic Bags In The Trunk If You Want To See”

The Cop Looks At The Woman And Slowly Backs Away To His Car While Calling For Back Up.
Within Minutes 5 Police Cars Circle The Car.
A Senior Officer Slowly Approaches The Car, Clasping His Half Drawn Gun.

Officer: “Mam, Could You Step Out Of Your Vehicle Please!”

The Woman Steps Out Of Her Vehicle.

Lady: “Is There A Problem Sir?”

Officer: “My Colleague Here Tells Me That You Have Stolen This Car and Murdered The Owner.”

Lady: “Murdered The Owner? Are You Serious?”

Officer: “Yes, Could You Please Open The Trunk Of Your Car, Please.”

The Woman Opens The Trunk, Revealing Nothing But An Empty Trunk.

Officer: “Is This Your Car, Mam?”

Lady: “Yes, Here Are The Registration Papers.”

The Cop Is Quite Stunned.

Officer: “My Colleague Claims That You Do Not Have A Driving License ?”

The Woman Digs Into Her Handbag And Pulls Out A Clutch Purse And Hands It To The Officer.
The Officer Examines The License Quizzically.

Officer: “Thank You Mam, But I Am Puzzled, As I Was Told By My Officer Here That You Didn’t
Have A License, That You Stole This Car, And That You Murdered And Hacked Up The Owner!”

Lady: “I Bet That Lying Bastard Also Told you that, I Was Speeding, Too!”

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But I like the way ....

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him,

"If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says,

"None."

The teacher asks,"Why?"

Johnny says,"Because the shot scared them all off."

The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking."

Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?"

The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream."

Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!":P

LMFAO !

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.

The husband puts,"Mypenis,"

and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says,

"Error. Not long enough." ROFL

Officer Trolled

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him,

"Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man shouts,
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"Boobs!"

Guess What ?

Ques: What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
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Ans: Currency Note (Money).

Potential & Realistic

A boy asks his dad,

“What’s the difference between potential and realistic?”

The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds,

“A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!”

He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies,

“Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!”

Next, the boy asks his brother who replies,

“A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!”

When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says,

“Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”

Curtsy : www.laughfactory.com