Double meaning | Mind twisting | funny | sexy | jokes

This post is a collection of  jokes that will make you think twice at your thinking, made with the intent of showing that straight meanings do exits to various thing, but you would surely find it humorous.

Touch my Body Game

Boy: Hey! Bae, Touch me at one place where there is no bone ...
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Girl : Awww ! Then take out your ...
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BIG
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LONG
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Always WET



Tongue

Mr Bean wants it too

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Have You seen ?

What girls wear below the Pants?
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Sandals of course
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Stop U Pervert Minded

I said below ..... not beneath.

From the eyes of Johnny Bravo

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I'm Sexy and I Know it !

People spend so much money on fashionable clothes and accessories

but the best moments of life are spent without clothes.
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when we were kids....

Common, Think good !

Carefree Life

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Unique conversational skills

An American woman married a Spanish man and went to Spain to live.

She didn't knew Spanish, so If she wanted to buy 2 leg pieces of  a chicken, she used to pull up her skirt show 2 legs,

This went on for sometime.

1 Day She Wanted to buy some Bananas

This time she took her husband to the Shop...

You Know Why ???

Because he knew Spanish !

But I like the way you think ...... :P

When you thought she's gonna show 

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When its too Tight to fit

Girl : It's 2 tight

Boy : Don't worry,I'll do it slowly,

Gal : Push it in,

Boy : Ah..I can't,

Gal : It's painful,

Boy : Forget it.
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We'll buy new WEDDING RING!

Can't fit but what ?

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When she goes too long !

I miss You soo much in my life

I miss You soo much in my  life ......

that at night I hold it in my hand tight
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Shut Up u evil minded

Its her pic that I hold

Remembering this scene Right Now ?

Remember, there's always the possibility of more than One side to any story. Share our post if you find it funny.


Source: Part of it present all over the internet, and rest is the creation of our mind.

Crazy Age Verification of Boy !

She gave him a boner!

6 pics of Statues getting naughty ...| above 16 yrs

Double meaning Jokes | funny | sexy | jokes

No Its Wrong ...

A couple were making love, suddenly girl yells ...

Girl : No, its wrong.

Boy : But I love You .

Girl : No,  Still its wrong 

Boy : Baby, I am gonna marry you ..

Girl : No As***le , its the wrong hole .....

Really, Did I ?

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Tori Black in School time

Tori Black  during her School……
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In Chemistry class

Teacher : Tori, Please enlighten me, What's Nitrate ?

After thinking for 2 minutes

Tori : "Sir, you really want to know ?

Teacher :  Yes, please tell me fast, if you know ?

Tori : Night rate 1500

&

Hotel charges extra"...

Tori Hired !

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Parrot know it

A woman purchased a parrot for 3k

Seller insisted not to buy that one, as it used to be under possession of a red -light area.

She still bought it, as it was pretty, & brought it to her home.

Parrot : Woh! , new house.
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The Woman felt pleased with its ability.
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Soon when her 2 daughter came from school
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Parrot : New-New girls, I am coming to the room ...
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The woman got "tensed", as the seller noted the point.
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But in the evening when her husband came
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Parrot : Hey! "JAY", you're even here bro.

Share it if you got it......

If you Know what parrot Knows 

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If you know what she means

A married woman to her friend : I am not  getting a baby,

even after trying for an year.

Her Friend : Then, Your husband might be impotent.

Woman : My husband, I even doubt yours ...

New | Naughty | Funny | Sexy| trolling | Jokes

But I like the way ....

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him,

"If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says,

"None."

The teacher asks,"Why?"

Johnny says,"Because the shot scared them all off."

The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking."

Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?"

The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream."

Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!":P

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LMFAO !

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.

The husband puts,"Mypenis,"

and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says,

"Error. Not long enough." ROFL

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Officer Trolled

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him,

"Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man shouts,
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"Boobs!"

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Guess What ?

Ques: What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
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Ans: Currency Note (Money).

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Potential & Realistic

A boy asks his dad,

“What’s the difference between potential and realistic?”

The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds,

“A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!”

He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies,

“Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!”

Next, the boy asks his brother who replies,

“A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!”

When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says,

“Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”

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Curtsy : www.laughfactory.com

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Funny | Sexy| Naughty | Trolling | Time Pass | jokes

ROFL

A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said,

“You are back early, what’s wrong?”

“I was stung by a bee!” she said.

“Where?” he asked.

“Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said,

“Your stance is far too wide.” :P

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Mom Trolled

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother,

"Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!"

Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say,

"It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked,

"Really small, was it that small?"

Sally replied,"No, salty."

Mom fainted.

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Did you know?

Ques: How are women and tornadoes alike?
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Ans:They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

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Teacher Trolled

Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question.

"Who is the creator of the universe?"

Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled,

"God almighty!"

The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question,

"Tell me who is our lord and savior?"

Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out,

"Jesus Christ!"

The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked,

"What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?"

Joe poked Josey again and she shouted,

"If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"

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Curtsy : http://www.laughfactory.com


 
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Funny | Sexy | Trolling | jokes

Smart guy ...lol

A man is sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous, sexy, young woman enters. The man can’t stop staring at her. The young woman notices this and walks directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman says to him,

"I'll do anything you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100, with one condition."

Flabbergasted, the man asks what the condition is. The young woman replies,

"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The man considers her proposition for a moment, withdraws his wallet from his pocket, and hands the woman five $20 bills. He looks deeply into her eyes and slowly says,

"Paint my house." Trolled!

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And You too, yes you reading this !

A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number.

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Pleased her to infinity

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said,

"I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!"

He said, "Explain the kids!".

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Still in the Dictionary

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said,

"Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"

I said, "Wow!"
Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629." Trolled

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My personal Favorite | Super Troll

 

Why did I get divorced?

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said,

"Happy birthday, boss!"

I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said,

"Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"
"Okay," I said.

She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

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Curtsy : www.laughfactory.com


 
 
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Thats how you make someone SEXY !

Curtsey : http://chemicalengineeringnews.org/

Amazing Ass Fire-Extinguisher

What a Fire Fighter !